1.18 Anything you can do.....

     The evil wizard had been released as her brother aged up. And Ronin had taken Nunchuk with him. Mum claimed that Nunchuk had died because she was really old, but Oriana knew better.
     Marco as a baby sucked, Marco as a child was even worse.
     He used her ninja traps against her!! Which was sooo stupid, since he should use them so daddy wouldn't bite mum in the shower.

     And when she stomped around the house, clearly learning how to be a dinosaur- ninja, dad didn't even look at her!!! He just kept talking with her stupid brother, wanting to play catch with him!!

     The hard ball hit Marco in the face again! It was so difficult catching that stupid ball.
     Dad! That hurts!! He heard his father appologize in the distance. That didn't help at all, his nose still ached. Oriana was so lucky she didn't have to play catch with dad. He threw harder than a horse kicked!!

    
     Orianas stupid brother was better than her at everything too! When she built a ninja- fortress; he built the sphinx in Al- Simhara!! And then he said: That's really cool Oriana! Is it a dojo?! Like stupid Marco knew what a dojo was!! But she couldn't yell at him, because then mum yelled at her!
     They always took her stupid brothers side!

     Atleast she was still allowed to sit in the front seat! But when she said it was because Marco was still a baby, mum yelled at her. Even if Marco didn't care! He liked sitting in the backseat, 'cause then he could kick the back of mums seat.

    Then when they went to visit uncle Marek and aunti Elsie, her stupid brother got everyones attention!! He told some stupid story that wasn't even about ninjas!

    Whilst mum yelled at her for fishing!! How was she supposed to know there was no fish in the water?!! Why have a big pond with no fish in it? Uncle Marek and auntie Elsie were soooo weird.

     And when she wanted to go to the beach alone, mum and dad said she had to take Marco with her. She even tried to run away from him, but he kept up.
     Oriana wait!! Mum and dad said we had to stay together! She heard him calling for her in the background, but didn't stop.

     And then when she came to the beach, she tried to talk to talk to one of the boys there. Oriana talked about ninjas ofcourse, because everyone likes ninjas! And the boy thought ninjas were way cool too!!

     But then her uncool brother, just started playing in the sand and asked if the boy wanted to play with him. And he did!! Boys are so stupid!!

     The only other kid to play with, was stupid Sunniva!! She was so mean, and always called Oriana and Vera lesbians. Vera had told her that a lesbian was a girl that like-liked other girls, and that was just stupid!
     Oriana only liked ninjas and didn't care if they were boys or girls! Or dinosaurs!!

     She got so mad at her brother and mean Sunniva, that she destroyed the sandcastle he made, like a real ninja would have!!! But then Oriana felt guilty instead. Even if her stupid brother didn't care about the sandcastle!

     Marco had a really good time having a waterballoon- fight with the other kids. One of the boys, Milo, said he and Oriana were friends. But when they called for her to join, she was nowhere to be found. That was strange.

     Oriana sulked as she went home. Dad asked her where Marco was, because she was supposed to look after him.
     And ofcourse, when he did get home a short while after her, dad started sniffing the air and went: Marco? Have you been around werewolves? Go take a shower, and throw the clothes in the laundry.     
     Stupid dad ALWAYS cared about Marco. He never asked her to take a shower when she'd played with Milo!!

     Even when Oriana showed she was a big girl, and didn't find any ninjas from opposing clans under her bed. (They were probably not there anymore because of her stupid brother!)

     'Cause then Marco had checked under hid bed and found monsters! Like monsters live under beds!! They live in the closet, everyone knew that! That's what mum said, when Oriana asked her why they didn't have any closet.

     Then dad would hug precious little Marco and tell him everything would be fine.

     And dad said something stupid, like: Your mind is your best defense against monsters! Just have a riddle ready to tell them if they show up. Monsters are really dumb, so that will make them run away.
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      What happens when someone dies?? Marco looked sadly at his parents. Oriana was in the tub, playing ninja- submarine so he dared ask the question. His sister thought FattyNunchuk was taken by an evil samurai without a master. Or something like that.
     When we die, we end up in the big light, Iva said. And there you meet everyone else you know that has died. When you've been there a while, you come back as a baby. Or else it would get really crowded.
     That sounded plausible! But why did dad give her such a strange glare?
    Gard wasn't to happy with all the tall- tales Iva told their children. Even if it was impressive how she just came up with things like that. No wonder her writing went well.

     After her morning bath, Oriana had dressed up as a ninja- astronaut, only to find a too common accurance.

     Her stupid brother Marco, and her dad playing catch in the early morning light. Dad couldn't be to long out in the sun before he caught fire. Marco was soooo lucky, she wished dad would play catch with her!
     Oriana jealously stared at them through the window. Maybe if she stared long and hard enough, dad would turn around and notice her.
     It looked like her stupid brother was having soooo much fun!

     Ouch! My eye! Dad had thrown the ball in his face again! It hurt so much, why did he always throw so hard?!
     You're supposed to catch it with your hands boy. Not your face. Was dad laughing at him?
     Marco saw his sister in the window, dressed up as an astronaut. He wished he could play astronaut, then dad could throw balls in Orianas face instead!

     Why does daddy only care about Marco? Oriana whined to her mother.
     Honey, dad plays with you all the time. He just wants to do a bit of father- son stuff with your brother. Iva didn't tell her daughter that Marco really needed to burn off a bit of energy.
     But I wanna play catch with daddy too!! The girl sulked when she said it, putting up a face that would make her dad feel guilty. Didn't work on mums for some reason.
     Iva wondered when her daughter had turned into such a whiny kid. Have you asked dad if he wants to play catch with you??

     Oriana didn't want to ask her dad. She wanted him to ask her! Like he did with Marco. To throw her mother of her case, she said: You're really pretty mum! You look like a pretty painting, a really, really, REALLY old one!! 

     ...Thanks..... Her daughter was such a charmer. Definitely got that from the dads side of the family.

     The rising sun had finally become to much for his dad, so Marco played a bit with his toy oven. As he went to put the fresh pie in the fridge, he was terrified his dad wanted to play catch again. Why couldn't his dad just be fat, watch tv and drink beer like other dads?? He was hairy enough to be like that!!

     You know, the school is full of yetis, Oriana told her brother. It was his first day after all, so she would make sure he felt unsafe and unwelcome. Like any good sister would.
    And it's like constantly in danger of getting hit by a meteor, and then it will catch fire and everything will burn. And when it does, I'm not going to help you!!! Oriana would make sure that all the ninjas at school, wouldn't like her brother. She just had to find them first.
     Marco sat quietly next to her. then said: That sounds cool! I like yetis! And fire! 
     Her brother was so stupid. Nothing was better than ninjas.

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There's not a lot of the adults in this part. But the kids need a little room, especially Marco. Poor thing is easy to forget when Oriana is around. He has some traits I really couldn't find a good use for as a child. He'll be more prominent as a teen though.
Thanks for reading :)

1.17 Crouching sim Hidden ninja

     It was such a beautiful day, they all decided to go to the spring festival. Summer was close, and the air was all warm, the sun burning on the skin. The place smelled of sweet cake, and delicious beverages.
     Despite her clumsy nature, Iva took a pirouette on rollerblades, not even falling over.

      But she "discretely" pretended to do something else, when she saw her husband, the father of her children, entering the kissing booth. It was for a good cause after all.

  But did he really have to....

     .....go that far?!!!

     Atleast that bitch finally got the attention she was so desperately seeking!!!!

     You with those fucking fake tits!!! Stay the hell away from my husband!! Iva confronted the woman in her usual, charming manner.
     The very young woman, way younger than Iva, was probably used to that type of behaviour. She didn't even react.

     Iva figured it would be a good ide to make Gard jealous, and kissed the guy in the kissing booth. But she got so shy, that the lucky man just got a quick peck on the cheek by a blushing "lady".

     Not that it was any point, as her stupid husband found out the fair had football. And just was to busy even noticing her trying to make him jealouse. That bastard!

     Marco had toddled out of the hot sun, and found his beloved teddy; Nosferatu. Or "Noffatu" as he called it. For once he was acting like the perfect toddler, not even crying once.

     Oriana pretended she didn't know any of them, as her parents were just so embarassing. And her brother was baby-ronin. The evil wizard!
     She found some pretty flowers, and drew a deep breath trying to smell it.
     Dad had told her that ninjas used something they spit in their enemies eyes to blind them. Maybe they made it from flowers!!!
     Ninja- flower made her nose runny. Glasses and allergies?! How would she ever be a ninja now!!

     Like the dancing wasn't embarrasing enough, her parents got even more lovey- dovey on that stupid love- machine. They laughed and clapped when they hit the max.

     Eeeeew!!! Even the dog was laughing at them.

     When baby- ronin tried to kill his teddybear, Oriana headed home. No ninja could look at that!!

     She would rather do her ninja- homework, thank you very much!!

 

     As Oriana headed home, Gard figured out how to make it up to his wife. She hadn't really mentioned him kissing that girl, but he'd seen Iva yell at her. Lucky for him the festival had football, so he could pretend beeing busy with that instead. 

     Ofcourse he'd just kissed the young woman like that, to see if he still had it. Which he definitely did. Not that he'd tell his wife that, as he didn't have a death- wish.

     When we get home, I'll do those things you like... He knew excactely what she wanted.

      

     So he put his son to sleep....

     .....and emptied the potty.....

      Which was "those things" she liked. They had been married for many years now after all.
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     Once again, the evil wizard trapped in her brothers babybody screamed and yelled. Oriana couldn't wait for him to grow up. Maybe baby- ronin would go away then!!
     Don't worry honey, he'll age up pretty soon. She barely heard her mothers voice through all the screaming. Because baby- ronin screamed louder than a wounded ninja- dinosaur.

     When baby- ronin finally stopped screaming, she tried talking a bit with her dad.
     Daddy? Oriana put on her best puppy- eyes. Can you sweep the chimney, so I can climb through it? All ninjas have to learn to climb chimneys, it's a part of their training!!
     Sweety, we don't even have a chimney, Gard responded. Why didn't she ever go to her mother with all those odd requests? He continued:  And even if we did, no one can climb through it. It's not possible because.....

     Once again baby- ronins howling got her dads attention. Maybe the evil wizard wasn't so bad after all- He just saved her one of dads boring, long explanations. 'Cause her dad was like waaay boring.

     Baby- ronin went silent again as he found something exciting in his nose.
     And Oriana sat down with a book about ninjas. She so needed ninja- socks, that way she could climb ropes better. With socks like that she could also pretendt to be a turtle, a ninja- turtle! Which was a concept no- one but Oriana had like ever thought of!!
     Her parents was beeing all grosse as usual. They kissed ALL the time! Then they would shower together. Mum said it was because they tried to save the enviroment, but dad acted a bit strange when she asked him.
     Oriana still thought it was grosse. Sometimes she heard her mother make strange sounds in the shower. So just incase her dad was hurting mum, Oriana had concocted a plan. So they would stop showering together.

     She had trapped the shower, like a real ninja would. Because everyone knew ninjas are like really nice and all!! That way, her dad would stop hurting mum when they were saving the enviroment! He probably bit her, 'cause he did that sometimes.

     ORIANA!!!!! Talk about mood killer! Where did that girl learn that type of behaviour, Iva wondered.

     Nunchuk, her trusty ninja- cat sat on her lap. Mum was angry now, but she wouldn't yell when Nunchuk was with her. She would get all gooey- eyed because they were so cute together!!
     Oriana laughed as she scratched her ninja- cat: And stupid Sunniva say I can't be a ninja!!
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     That wasn't the only ninja- plan Oriana and Nunchuck made.
     There was always so many women that wanted to talk to her dad. Women he didn't even know, just would walk up to him and start talking, and act all funny. Sometimes strange ladies even came to their house.
     Mum always got mad when the nice ladies wanted to be friends with daddy. Then she would yell at him.
     When Oriana asked mum why ladies ALWAYS wanted to talk to her dad, mum said it was because he was a "beefcake".
     If her dad was a cake, didn't that mean she was half cake/ half human? She would be the only half- cake ninja in the world then! Oriana liked cake.

     Oriana tried her and Nunchuks plan when a blonde lady came to the house. She saw her mum give the lady "the look". That meant that mum and dad would fight, when the lady left the house.

     When the blond lady started giggling at all the boring things dad said, Oriana knew it was a woman that liked her dad. Since she thought he was a cake. Oriana really liked cake. And dad was sooooo boring.

      She went to her room, where she'd left her homework on the desk. Then she sent Nunchuk, the ninja-cat, out of her room to help with the plan. Oriana sat at her desk, and pretended to do her homework.

 

     Oriana knew what would happen as soon as she heard baby- ronin howl again. Dad would go to him, and mum would yell at the lady. Maybe mum didn't like to share cake? Which was like really unfair, because mum ALWAYS made Oriana share.

     Then the lady would start screaming back. This one said: You can't talk to me like that!!! Poor woman!! She couldn't say that to mum! Mum said anything she wanted to whoever she felt like!! Which was sooo embarassing!!

 

   

     The ninja hiding in her room, heard someone getting slapped. It was definitely the lady!

     Then mum would punch the woman. Mum said she was a "bimbo- beater". A bimbo was a woman with big boobs. 

     One time, when Oriana had been hiding like a ninja, mum had been angry at dad and said he didn't like her small boobs. Then dad had gotten that strange voice, laughed a bit, and said that he didn't mind. Because he could fit her entire boob in his mouth. 

     Oriana had revealed her ninja- self and asked why dad would wanna do that!!? Dad had got all red- faced, which she had no idea he could!  

     Mum was a really good "bimbo- beater". 

     When the bimbo was beaten, Nunchuk the ninja- cat lept into action

     Mum said all bimbos were self- sentered, and obsessed with their looks. So Oriana and Nunchuk knew the lady would be afraid of Nunchuks claws destrying her pretty face.

 

     And just like the ninja had planned, the bimbo ran into her room. Oriana pretended she got scared, and cried for her dad: Daddy, daddy! There's a strange lady in my room!! She wasn't really scared though, as ninjas were really brave.

 

     Then dad showed up, and said: What's wrong with you? Get out of my daughters room!!! Dad didn't like it when strangers came to close to her.

      Ninja- plan works perfectly! She was so telling all the other ninjas at school. She just had to find them first. If they were hiding to well, she'd just tell her best friends Vera and Milo instead!! They weren't ninjas.        Oriana really liked ninjas!! And cake. She wanted cake for supper.

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Iva's gotten quite nice in her older days. She doesn't randomly attack or yell at people any more. So I have to force her to do it. And that kissing booth thing!! Damn, great kisser ftw. Save some for your wife, you old dog! 

Gard gets love- letters and phone- calls pretty much at a daily basis. Random female sims also tend to pop up at the door several times a week. I figured they come for him, and not for Iva. 

I felt a bit sorry for Gard when I played the random save, in the "florian- chapters". He kept rolling wishes to kiss and flirt with Iva. And the first time they met in the original save, she rolled a want to kiss him too! They have some traits incommon, so they go together quite nicely. 

Iva could have gotten pretty kids with Lukas, but now she gets to have ...interesting... kids with Gard instead. They make a terrible DNA- match. Ah well, what Iva wants, Iva gets. 

Thanks for reading :)