I just don't understand what the big deal is? Joes voice was calm and reassuring as he stood in the bright hallway. It was the only neutral room in the house, and he kind of liked it there. Even if it somewhat reminded him of the hospital. Except where psych- ward had smelled sterile, old an honestly a bit mouldy, this room had a pleasant aroma to it. The basement was nearby, which contained Ingvars nectar- machine. The fruity scent spread all the way up there.
He continued: I already know what I want, so why not do it? What's the worst thing that could happen?
The worst thing, Joe said to Joe, is that something else gets hurt!! Do you really want to do that again? Haven't you done enough?!
He hated this room! It was all white, and brightly lit. The wardens were waiting around the corner to put him back in his empty room. He never wanted to go back there, so this was not going to happen. Joe would make sure Joe got that!
Getting a bit agitated, Joe tried keeping calm. What was the big deal anyway? That one time had been an accident, and he was a lot better now. He knew what he wanted with his life, so why couldn't Joe just shut up and agree? It would be fine, and it wasn't like he was alone this time! Everyone in this house knew what was going on anyway!
But, it will be fine this time! Joe tried pleading to Joe.
Joe slapped Joe across the face, he really pissed him off at times. Even if the only other person he hit was Joe, it was still violence, right?
See! Joe angrily said. You're dangerous! You haven't even taken your pills today to dumbarse!!
Right, he needed to take those, the green ones, right?
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A while after taking his pills, Joe felt like himself again. Or more correctly; like there was only one of him. He had hid down in his little spot in the basement until both of them cooled off. Nothing like popping some pills to make you feel better!
But then, that voice came sneaking over him again.
Joe..... Luring and sneaking it crawled over the paper into his ears. Joooe..... There it was again. He tried ignoring it, then it would probably go away.
Unfortunately he knew to well that this voice didn't belong in his head. It belonged to a blonde gorilla with to much hair- spray. He needed a lock for that door. He didn't need tons of hairproducts, as he was blessed with a full set of wavy, thick hair.
Joe... I won't go away until you answer me..... Jooooe..... Marco didn't give up. He'd maken sure Joe popped his pills when needed, as he sometimes forgot it himself.
That's not the answer to everything, you know? Joe didn't want to leave the house, he was crazy for crying out loud! He'd just had a huge argument with himself!
Having sex makes the brain release endorphines and dopamines, that makes you feel better! You feel bad, just have sex and feel good! Simple!
I can't. Joe simply said, stuffing his nose down in the paper again. Why didn't he just go away already?
Why not? Marco didn't give up that easily.
I'm... eerrr.... impotent, yeah that's it... Impotent... Joe slowly answered. It's the pills, they kill ...testosterone... yup... He'd probably go away now, all men ran off when they heard that word incase it was contagious.
Testosterone dictates the sexdrive, not the ability to get an erection.... That was a pretty strange excuse for a guy anyway.
Crap! How the hell did he know all those things anyway: You know scaringly lot about penises, you know that right? Joe tried his best to get Marco to leave him alone.
When building muscles, you need to know about chemicals in the brain and body. He sat down on the couch next to Joe, as he finally put the paper away: Talking about building muscles.... Isn't it time you...
No!
It was probably bad that Joe and Marco started finding the conversation entertaining. But they weren't really that old, and honestly underwear humour was funny.
Well, Joe started again. Since I don't have a sexdrive, it's no point trying to get laid anyway!
That'll fix itself when you get her naked! That was obvious ofcourse.
But if I can't get it up, we can't...
Marco interrupted him: You can use your hands!
My hands are to bloated! The pills make me retain water! They didn't, but he doubted Marco would read through all the instructions. He had a lot of pills, not so many for his insanity, but a lot for the sideeffects.
What about your tongue, it's not just for talki...
Joe interrupted him: It fell out!! Yeah, those pills are some nasty business!
You're talking to me right now you dumbarse! Marco and Joe had know eachother for too long.
No I'm not! It's all in your head! Actually, they're your pills! Beeing crazy meant he knew how to mess with other peoples head to.
They're not my pills, Marco laughed at him, it clang through the cold and dry room in the cellar.
Yes they are! I'm your imaginary friend!
They both started laughing, until Marco finally said: Come on Joakim. We don't have to get you laid, but let's atleast get out of the house! I know something else than sex that'll make you feel better!
Please, no more pumping iron! That's not fun! Even if Joe had been pretty active in his younger days, he's never been a fan of the outright heavy- metal workout big- blond was.
You were a lot more active when you were younger.....
Joe gave up with a heavy sigh, Marco usually got what he wanted: Fine! What did you have in mind?
Hey! You said no training! Joe ducked away from a round- kick. Atleast give a man a warning!
I said no pumping iron!! Sim- fu always made everything better! It had helped him as a teen, now it would help Joe as an adult. And he would pump iron one day or another! Once a man starts, he never stops!! A healthy mind must have a healthy body to work in!
So how are things between you and your husband? He'd noticed Oriana wearing that boring beige top, and was that a pearl necklace? What was she anyway, ancient? If he's not treating you properly, I can just break his neck you know! See! He exclaimed looking as serious as possible, showing with his hands: I'll just grab him like this, put my other hand right there and.... SNAP!! That'll put an end to anyone, even if Selim was so large that he might prove more than a handful.
No one's going to break anything, his sister said. Selim is a great guy! He really is, everything is fine. It's fine!! He's great. Oriana sounded tired and pulled together, it wasn't like her. She should be jumping and clapping her hands.
Yeah, I heard that the first time.... Marco answered. Everything wasn't fine, or she wouldn't dress like an old woman! Where's mister perfect anyway?
Oriana sighed: Upstairs!
Why isn't he downstairs with you?
For the love of..... He's not a dog Marco! Oriana left pretty shortly after for some reason.
Meave!! Uncle Mareks oldest daughter seemed to have taken to her dads idea of the perfect career. Oddly enough, she wasn't dissapointed that her beloved (cough) cousin hadn't joined the army after all.
Hey Marco!! Meave responded, both of them way to loud for the pretty silent academy.
You've shot anyone with the M4 yet? What version are you using? Meave asked with enthusiasm in her voice. Marco might like weapons, but Meave was pretty much obsessed. Even more talented than her own father, she dreamt of getting accepted into the "specialized" troops, and would most likely succeed. He did his best to avoid answering the question. If he didn't, she'd never stop talking.
Hey! Marco said: Can Joe try some picup lines on you? He needs the training! Meave mainly worked with men, in a typical male career. Nothing Joe could say that she hadn't heard already. If he got to creepy, she'd just punch him in the guts anyway.
Despite a smaller protest Joakim was pretty easy to persuade. Usually Marco might have noticed, but he got a bit busy when a beautiful woman approached him. Linn, Sunnivas younger sister had grown up very well, but for once it wasn't her stunning looks that made him focus.
She was also an officer of the law, and they discussed the important tidings of cop- business.
I know you're into healthy stuff Marco... but trying to persuade the chief to drop the donuts.... That's unforgivable. Leave the donuts alone, they haven't done anything wrong! Like most women he knew, Linn had a sweet- tooth. He'd never get what it was with women and sweet things. If they liked sweet, then why did they like men? Men were gross and hairy. Not that he was unhappy about it, but it still didn't make any sense.
In the background he heard Meaves nasal voice talking about how a conducter once killed a tuba- player with his baton. She was a bit obsessed with killing... even if it was understandable that sims want to kill tuba- players.
If Linn hadn't been in the force with him, Marco would definitely been hitting on her. But he was professional enough to stay away from co- workers.
She laughed a bit, and said: I thought I was hallusinating when I saw you in the office!!
Yeah, I'm a bit more used to running away from cops! He didn't have anyone else in the family in the law, but Linn took it after her mum Bianca. No one from that family held any grudge agains Joe for his earlier actions, they were actually a pretty decent bunch of people. Even Sunniva, even if it might not seem like it on the surface.
Irritated Marco pulled the phone out of his pocket, it had been ringing non- stop for ages. What was it with people that never stopped. If he didn't pick up, he either didn't have it with him, or he didn't want to talk to them! Turned out he was wrong this time though. The person on the other end was someone he wanted to talk with.
In a more run- down place in Jericho, they met after a few years absent. Whatever guilt he had once felt over sleeping with someone that had a real crush on him, it was long gone. They were adults now after all, and Ally couldn't possibly still have a thing for him.
She might not be one of the factory- beauties, but she had a face that could pull off any look. And a voice as deep as the cities criminal web. The place she wanted to meet up was a bit odd, but she was an actor now and tried avoiding the paparazzo. And she even was a real actor, not in the "adult" business.
Ofcourse Marco knew that, after all: I saw you in "The unicorn princess", he laughed. She'd been wearing a long, blond wig and been singing throughout the movie. He'd laughed so hard seeing Ally in such a part, that he'd been thrown out of the theatre.
Allys hoarse laughter carried pretty well in the approaching night, and it suited her perfectly.
One of my fauvorite rolls, she was still laughing, that scarred voice matching the run down surroundings. She wasn't a big name yet, but that movie would go into history as one of the worst ones ever.
When he told her he was a cop, she laughed even more and repeated Joes thoughts about him with guns. Why did everyone find that so funny? He was responsible!
Soo, if your a cop, Ally said hesitantly. Does that mean you have a uniform?
Yes. Ofcourse he had a uniform, and he looked damned good in it! Clearly too good, as women flocked to him like moths to a flame.... or a smoking hot blonde.... like him!
You've got handcuffs to? Ally still seemed fascinated with the idea of him beeing a cop.
Ofcourse. Why? He was pretty sure he knew where this was going.
You ever like, use them for other things than, you know, work? Recreational purposes for instance? Even with that deep, scarred voice, she sounded so innocent.
He'd like to say this was the first time he'd been asked that......
No. He was so awesome, he didn't need anything other than himself! It bit a little that he'd already slept with Ally, so clearly she was of a different opinion. Unfair! He was a lot better now than he'd been back then. Practice makes perfect.
She seemed awefully dissapointed, this time atleast.
Under the excuse of "reporting" the incident, Marco pulled out his notebook asking her some questions. Normal cop- questions ofcourse, like: what time she was off work, what her favourite food was and stuff like that.
She leaned very close to him, when he asked about relationships: Oh, I have a boyfriend. But we have an open relationship.
Okay.....?
Then there was something called to much information: So I took my baseball- bat like this, and swung it against the paparazzos head!! Ally smiled with childlike excitement at the memory.
She ducked!! Ally quickly added. Really! I didn't hit her or anything, her eyes shifted nervously, then she went: Excuse me a bit!
She proceeded walking up to some random teenager and slapped his chunky cheeks. The boy had just tried ordering some junk- food. Even if Marco agreed he needed a slapping for that, it wasn't Allys place. That's what mums were for.
Even if Ally was hot when she randomly attacked people, he couldn't just accept it. He was an officer of the law after all, and certain thing just wasn't fine.
You know Ally, he said: That's considered a felony. A bit of an overstatement, but what she didn't know didn't hurt: I might just have to pull you into the station for that.
Oh my, I had no idea, she responded breathlessly. Please don't pull out your handcuffs. She readied her wrists.
If you're really bad, I might just have to. He could flirt this way to, but still he was to professional to do anything like that. There might be some cops that used their status as a way of picking up women, but not him. He didn't need it anyway.
I'll let it slip this time. She looked dissapointed again. She hadn't just slapped that kid to get him to handcuff her right? That was extremely weird, even for her.
I'll talk to you later, okay? Have a nice evening. He'd promised Joe to meet up at a almost- nightclub. And he wasn't going to dissapoint his friend, even if Ally was a pretty good excuse. Actually it had been his idea to meet there, since Joe tried avoiding people.
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He had to tell Joe about Ally: Did you see that movie "The unicorn princess"? It's Ally!
Joe and Marco laughed whilst talking about it. It was to funny, but atleast she was a pretty good voiceactor.
The unicorn was a horse with a plastic horn glued to it's head!! Marco laughed again. It's not like they exsist anyway!! What was it with the idea of a horse with a pointy horn? The idea of unicorn are just a horse with a fallos on it's forehead!
That made Joe laugh atleast.
Are you two following me? Meaves girly, nasal voice broke through them discussing "The unicorn princess".
And why did Joe get that dumb smile on his face? Maybe it was about time for Marco to realize that Meave wasn't everyones cousine.
Once again, Marco got her to agree to Joe practicing his pickup lines. He'd seen something more interesting going up the strairs. Not that Joe didn't get what it was.
You really shouldn't try my cousins pick- up lines, Meave said. Just because they work for him, doesn't mean they work for you! They mainly work because he's so full of himself....
Marco wasn't full of himself! He was brave! It was a big difference.
Besides he only used them to get the woman laughing! That's pretty much the only type of lines that worked anyway.
His flirting seemed to work fine
More than fine
Soo... err.... you remind me of a painting.... it's all nicely framed.... Wait, it looked like he was pointing at her breast. Which was excactely what he was thinking about, but he shouldn't be that obvious about it!
There's no need to overthink talking to women. We have careers and hobbies like guys do. You don't have to drop some badly covered sex- comment. Meave was in the army, so walking around the porridge wasn't her style. She chewed her lip and continued: Between us, don't drop badly hidden sex- comments. It's seral- killer creepy!
Really? Damn, it had been a good idea practicing on Meave. He had no idea.
Oh, and while your at it, don't go talking to her like you've expecting her to have sex with you. That's also serial- killer creepy....
Joe knew that one already, he wasn't a teenager any longer after all.
Well, if you'd seen some of those things Marco's been dragging along... Joe saw his old friend coming in behind them. The time had flown whilst talking to army- Meave. She looked cute, and very professional, in that uniform.
Meave started giggling.
It was time for them to leave, and Meave pulled Joe in for an unexpected hug. Holy hell, she smelled good, and her skin was so soft. He made sure to draw in her scent while he still had the chance. This was so much nicer than man- hugging Marco!
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For unknown reasons, Joe woke up during the night. He'd like to think it had something to do with beeing around lovely Meave, but he could have sworn he heard an unknown noise.
Marco had a tendency beeing around things that burned, so sleeping with his clothes on seemed like a good idea. Atleast this time, maybe next night....
The house had a burglar alarm, so it couldn't possibly be anything dangerous. Maybe it was the old lady that raided the fridge for cake and pie. She did that sometimes, and pretended to be sleepeating whenever caught.
The sound got more prominent as he got closer to the entrance. Maybe it was something dangerous? But if it was, wouldn't old- man Ingvar had woken up already?
AAAARGH!!! Joe had gone crazy! Now he was seeing unicorns in broad nightdarkness! Damn that giant blonde for talking about that movie! Unicorn princess his arse!! It was obviously time to up the pill dose!!
The hallucination seemed to be as scared of him, as he was of it. Bloody crappy pills!!
This was so typical! He knew it had been a terrible idea to go outside the door! He had to start staying away from people! And he who had such big plans on asking trigger- happy Meave out on a date! And now this?!
The hallucination seemed real enough, but it wasn't unusual. It was a bit stranger how normal he felt though. And it was rather friendly, nibbling on his hair with a warm muzzle. He really needed stronger pills.
Hey hallucination horsey... he whispered.
It didn't like beeing called horsey. What an arrogant hallucination.....
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Ally and Marco kept talking about handcuffs. She also dropped all the interactions to slap the poor boy. He didn't do anything either, he just stood there. And sorry about the dark pictures.
I've also tricked you badly, as Linn isn't actually Sunnivas sister, but her aunt or something. I found it out whilst working on the familytree. But I'll keep referring to them as sisters if needed.
There's a pose by Sunny in there somewhere, I think.
And talking of Sunny: Cyrus Pink- Imaga and Nickys Patty Weller finally had a baby. And through the magic of CAS; here's Calvin, now go forth and spread thy handsome genes! Okay, he can wait until he's old enough.
Thanks for Reading.
