1.19 Three rules

     Orianas strange fascination with ninjas wasn't taken out of the blue. As Gard tried channeling his chi to break the large piece of rock in front of him, he couldn't help but thinking.
     It wasn't that he didn't want to play catch with his daughter. But what if she got the ball in her little face? That would break his heart. Marco could take it, he was a boy after all.
     She also bothered him to learn sim- fu, but that wasn't an option. It was hard work, and took dedication. And to be honest, Oriana didn't really have it in her. She'd start crying if she couldn't get it right the first time. Maybe when she got older.

     Gard wasn't sure how he'd end up married to Iva either. Just two old friend staring to notice eachother in a different way. They had dated for a small eternity, before they even took the first step. He'd always thought she was cute, especially with those adorable chipmunk cheeks. But her brothers "no touching sister" policy had just made him never think about it. Well, never seriously think about it.
     Marek had been furious when they started dating, but he got used to it eventually.

     He broke the rock, but hurt his hand in the prosess. So he ended up at the upstairs gym instead.
     Gard worked out a lot. Because as he'd told Iva all those years ago, the vampirism got more intense the older he got. The kids, his wife, and working in the garden helped. But not as much as sim- fu or a hard workout.
     Today he had a bit of trouble focusing though, as a very young woman was busy shaking her stuff straight infront of him. She had some nice stuff to shake.
     He decided to hit the shower and get home instead. No point taking the chance of getting another admirerer. He had a lot of them, which made Iva furious. Even if it techically wasn't his fault.

     Ofcourse he ran into Lukas. He had straightened himself out... well, let's not overdo it. Gard still wasn't to pleased with the good contact blondie had with his wife. He trusted her, but that damn fairy got his blood boiling. Lukas didn't seem to happy to meet him either.
     So, how's the wife and kid? Gard tried to be polite. Lukas was married for the fourth time, and had a daughter with the woman. The blonde was still a cheater though.
     Fine, fine. Lukas soft voice irritated him to, but the stupid fairy kept talking: How are things with you?
     Same old, same old. An awkward silence followed, he had no idea what to talk about. He just hoped someone would come and save him.

    
    Maybe if Gard had known that Iva just won an award, and was heading to the academy to surprise him, he would have wished differently.

     As Gard saw Iva enter through the door, he made a big deal out of kissing her infront of blondie. Just incase he got any ideas about his wife! He hoped Lukas would pull a face of sort, but no luck there.

      He put on a forced smile, and said: Look Lukas, it's Iva. My wife. He emphasized "my".
     Hi Lukas, it's so nice seeing you again! How's your little girl doing? As usual, Iva and Lukas easily chatted with eacother. For a very, very long time.
      Why the hell did Iva always have to talk so nicely to him? And for so long?? Gard never got jealouse of other guys, it was just something about blondie that rubbed him the wrong way.

     As he learned she'd won a price, he silently let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. It was the perfect way of getting Iva away from the fucking fairy.
    Gard asked her out on a date, and laughed internally when he saw blondies face. Bet he wished he had married someone his own age, and not some grey, old woman. Hah!!

     They hadn't been out alone together since Oriana had been born, and took the opportunity to go to the best restaurant in town. Couldn't have their little ninja and Marco with them to a place like that.
     The dinner was honestly not that good, so Gard sent it back to the kitchen. They gave him a reward!

     Afterwards they were supposed to go dancing, mainly because he wanted to show people his wife. Why didn't she dress like that more often? Unfortunately the club was rather empty, and quiet. As they entered the lift, Iva gave him a strange look. She was probably angry.
     I'm sorry, he said. It looks like the party is somewhere else. But this place have a hot- tub and...
     

     ...What? What was up with her? Why wasn't she angry?
     You look so sexy tonight, she purred. I can't wait to see your muscular body getting all wet....
     What the fuck? Gard had many years on his back by now, and a lot of experience. So he smoothly answered: Am I in trouble?
     There's no one else in the lift.... She was still purring, which was odd. Iva rarely purred, she hissed a lot though.
      Wait, was she really suggesting....? These things usually have cameras, you know that right? 
     I don't care....

     They were still straightening their clothes when the lift opened at the destination. He had the best wife ever!!! Up yours Lukas!!!

     It was actually nice that there weren't any more visitors. That meant the hotub was all theirs. And Iva was in an unusually good mood. Probably because she got away from the kids. He loved them, but they talked all the time! Made his damn ears bleed.

     Twice in a few hours, not bad for a guy his age. He was such a man!!!
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     Marco was dissapointed. It wasn't a ninja school, and there were no yetis. Or any fires at all. And they had to sit still all day! So boring! He started to think that his sister had tricked him.
      Mum had left a note on the fridge that her and dad were out, and would be home late. Why couldn't she just have texted him instead? His parents were so old.
     It was good that they were out for the night though. Marco had emptied a bucket of soap in the schools hallway, and used it as a slide. The principal had been really angry then, but hadn't been able to get a hold of his parents. So the principal said she'll phone them tomorrow instead. He'd be in so much trouble then!

     He decided to see if there were anything under his bed, and it was!! A twodimentional monster tried to eat his foot!! And Oriana had told him monsters only lived in the closet!!

     Marco would rather have ninjas under his bed, so he slept in his sisters room. If he was lucky, Oriana would use his bed and the monster would eat her instead.
     The stupid unicorn, and the ugly duck on the table gave him nightmares about getting grounded. It was still better than monsters! Or mum!
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     Speaking of the ninja, Oriana was so not going to go home! Her brother had texted her that mum and dad would be out all night! She went to the playground after school, because maybe the ninjas under her bed would make stupid Marco disappear!
     She tried phoning Vera to get her to come play, but she only wanted to talk about boring Marco!
     No! He is so not cute! Oriana thought maybe Vera had been brainwashed by evil ninjas. Then she hung up, as Oriana saw something a lot more interesting.

     PUPPY!!!!  Oriana exclaimed, not even realising it was all grown up.
     She let the dog sniff her hand, but it didn't want to play with her. That was okay though, as cats was better ninja companions!! They were way more loyal than dogs!!! And so much easier to train!

     For some odd reason, there were barely any kids on the playground. But that was okay, 'cause Oriana didn't need other kids to see how ninja- practice was. Like when she used the slide to pretend to jump off cliffs, like a real ninja. It was difficult to be quiet because it was really fun!!

     As she went up the slide, to keep practicing ofcourse, she saw him. It was a real ninja!!! Here!! 'Cause he was dressed all in black, and had black hair too. He was totally a ninja!!
     Oriana only had stupid blonde hair, even if Sunniva pushed her, and said she was ginger. But then Vera had pushed Sunniva and told her that Sunnivas hair looked like it was on fire! That wasn't very nice of Vera, and Oriana felt a bit sorry for Sunniva.

     Oriana asked the ninja if he wanted to train with her. For some reason he looked around a bit, and said okay. But only as long as there was other adults at the playground. That was weird, but maybe he could hide in plain sight!!! That would be so cool.

     The ninja was really cute, even if was totally old. Probably like twenty!! That was sooo old. She asked him if he was a real ninja.
     Yeah, ofcourse I'm a real ninja! he said.

     Mister Ninja, have you ever killed anyone? With like a nunchuk or something? Oriana also wanted to learn how to use a nunchuk, but dad always said no. So her, Milo and Vera had made someone with rope and rocks. Which had been really fun. But then mum saw them and took them, and then Oriana had been grounded. Soooo unfair.
     The old, but kind of cute ninja, looked around himself a bit, and then said: A ninja never reveals his secrets. 
     Wow, ninja- man was really smart.

    Oh, like really, really, REALLY old ninja. Do you have any ninja advice for me?? She knew how to be respectful agains old people. 

    Eh... Always do your homework. That's very important for ninjas, and don't talk to strangers. Always listen to you parents. That's the three rules of ninjaism!! The man thought this was one odd kid.

    Oriana nodded, not even thinking about him beeing a stranger.  

     When the old ninja had thought her the ninjaism rules, she asked him if he could help with her ninja- homework. He said yes, and they hid in the bushes, since they were like ninjas and all.

     Maybe ninjaman didn't see the point about learning simlish either, as he mainly said: Uuuh, when she asked him anything. 

     Mum had said that bimbos were stupid, so maybe he was a bimbo too!! He didn't have big boobs though. Which was really easy to see, 'cause he forgot to put his shirt on.

     When it started getting dark, ninja man said that she had to go home and sleep. Oriana did as he said, he was a real ninja after all. 

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     Marco was so stupid!! She had told him so many times that traps were only for mum and dad!! So dad wouldn't feed off her in the shower!! 

     Marco heard his sisters anger from the tub, and laughed. He couldn't believe she fell for that again!!!

     The master ninja sneaks past enemy lines, and takes out the Shogun! Oriana proudly proclaimed as her stupid brother sat down to play with her. 

    That's not how it works Oriana!! Marcos voice was crancky, as it often was when they played.

    Is too!! That's how to play ninjaboard!! She said it loud to her stupid brother, but then mum hushed at them.

      It's nothing called ninjaboard stupid! That's not a game!!! And it's called KING!! Which is like an EMPEROR!! Not SHOGUN!!! He yelled at her. Sisters were so annoying!! And stupid!! 

     NOOOO!!! Oriana yelled. A king is waaay not as powerful as an EMPEROR!! She screamed the last part! A king isn't even close to a DAIMYO!!

     IS TOO!!! Marco shouted. 

     Then dad chased them out of the house, to go play outside, for some reason. Even if the moon was still up. Him and mum were probably going to kiss again, which was really grosse. 

     I'm Oriana!! Marco made a stupid voice as he taunted his sister. I'm stupid and fat and think I'll be a ninja one day!! I don't know the difference between a shogun and a daimyo!!

     It was kind of neat, that they were allowed to be out when it was practically still night. And it was warm too! 

     Oriana didn't get the insult, and just laughed at him instead. Ofcourse she'd bee a ninja someday. And Marco wouldn't have known what a daimyo even was, if it wasn't for her. Marco was so stupid.

     Marco grabbed a water balloon, and aimed at his stupid sister. She was laughing at him, which was so irritating. He hated when she laughed at him. Mimicing how dad threw when they played catch, Marco tossed the balloon as hard as he could.

     He threw it so hard, that Oriana went straight down in a big "splosh". Water went everywhere leaving his annoying sister soaking wet, and with a hurt butt. He laughed at her, because she looked so stupid. It was funny when Oriana got hurt!

     Oriana wasn't really hurt, but her brother was mean and stupid. And finally had given her something good to use.

     Crying, she ran to the house: Daaaaaddyyyy.... Marco threw a waterballoon in my face on purpose!! She sobbed even more when she ran into the house.

     As Gard hugged her, she pressed out some more tears. Because then dad always hugged her harder!! Dad was really strong! Then he yelled at Marco and told him to be nice to her!! Dad always told Marco to be nice to girls.

     Oriana smiled at her dad, and put on her best puppyeyes. They were still wet from her crocodiletears.

     Daddy, can you protect me against evil ninjas, she said with her sweetest voice.

     Ofcourse I can sweety. No one hurts my little angel. She was totally dads favourite. 

     First, dad tells him to throw harder, but when he throws harder, dad yells at him. Just because it was on his annoying sister!! 

     Marco wasn't in the best of moods. He hated when dad barked at him. He always told him to be nice to girls. Even when girls were stupid!! And Oriana wasn't a girl anyway, she was his sister!!

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     Annoying or not, the time had come for Oriana to think about something else. And it wasn't her mum dancing with uncle Lukas either. Dad didn't like it when mum and him danced, for some reason.

     It was Orianas birthday today, so mum and dad had invited a lot of old people. 

She had invited Vera, and the two of them ran away from all the old people, and Marco. They were so boring. She talked about how much she'd love staring high school, and that she couldn't wait until Vera aged up either.

     It wasn't that bad having a birthday, because that meant she would get cake. Oriana really liked cake. She didn't see Vera at the moment, but there was no way she could wait any longer to grow up.
     That meant she'd bee a teen and be a lot bigger than Marco. And how bad could a new school be anyway right? It's not like Sunniva could get any meaner??

     As Oriana felt her limbs stretching, she realised a few things.
     First of all: she really liked cake. Second: Her family was so weird.
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That first scene with Lukas... he was found flirting with the lady that was shaking her stuff; wearing nothing but a towel and a pair of shoes :D
The lift- woohoo was absolutely pointless to add, I've just never actually looked at the animations before :D They were really funny.
Last, but not least: "really, really, really old ninja" is a slightly tweaked Zero by IMHO
I wanted Oriana to meet another kid, but figured an adult also worked, to show some of her nature.
Thanks for reading :)