3.15 Loss of a lie

warning: gore

     He just enjoyed her presence, how soft her skin was and how the light made her hair seem even more golden. The slender, long muscles of her thighs sliding up his hips was a familiar feeling, reminding him of times long passed. Ian lost himself in her golden eyes, as he had so many times before; wondering if his love showed in his eyes. Because he could see it in hers. Letting his hands slide up and down her back, he did his best to remember how every inch of her felt. She looked so young, so healthy, even if her hair was like it had been when he'd seen her last..

     Ian... she whispered in his ear, stroking his hair gently, letting it slide through her fingers. Her voice so filled with emotion, he worried he was going to cry. Her skin was so soft against his cheeks, her clavicle just a bit hard against his forhead. It was familiar and safe. Skuld was here with him again, and everything was as it should. There was no arousal involved, even if she sat naked in his lap. It was just the two of them, and the feeling of their bodies against eachother. Like everything was supposed to be. I've missed you. He whispered back at her, or was he just thinking it: I know Ian. Didn't her voice sound a bit different?

     He felt the weight of her hand as she pushed agaist his shoulder, pressing herself away from him. He did his best to pull her close again, but it was impossible for some reason: You know she lied. Who was she talking about: I love you... he was saying it weren't he? Because he could've sworn that he hadn't heard his own voice. She lied, and lied and lied; to the police, to the court, and to you; and you know it. I did things to her, that you can't imagine. And I enjoyed every second of it. I like hurting other sims.
     I love you... Who was she talking about? What things?

     Still stroking his hair slowly, she looked down at him as he still drowned himself in her softness: You don't think I actually love you, do you Ian? Look at you. Look at you and look at me. You were never good enough for me, and you never will be. You are utterly repulsive Ian. 
     What was she talking about? Why did she say these things to him? And where was that smell coming from? What was happening to the lights? Skuld, you're hurting me...

     Oh Ian. You don't think I'll let you leave, do you?

     Ian woke up; he'd completely forgotten about that. Well, he remembered it now, but not that vividly. That was the worst about these dreams, they always seemed so real. And they always hung in his body for hours as the day passed by. Luckily they were rare, or he'd probably gone insane by now.
     And yes, he knew. He knew that his daughter had lied to the police, the court, the lawyers, and to him. Aino had lied and told them that mum had never abused her in any way. She'd just ignored her a bit. Ian was no fool, but it wasn't like Skuld would've gotten away anyway. Or so they'd thought. Fifteen years, then she could apply to be free every five years after that.

     Walking into the kitchen, he sat down on the stool knowing all to well he wouldn't get more sleep this night. They could really use some curtains for the large windows. Why hadn't he though about that? Not that anyone could see inside, the fence was to tall. It just felt so cold and unpersonal.
     He still remembered the look of sheer terror in Ainos eyes, when he'd told her that mum wasn't going away for longer than minumum fifteen years. He'd tried explaining to her that she wouldn't get out again, but she'd still be notified about it several times through her life.
      But Ian still wasn't sure if Aino had lied intentionally, or if she'd actually believed it was normal. On the other hand, he didn't exactely knew what she'd experienced either. 
 

      Dad? Are you okay? Aino was staring at him from the doorway. Wonder how long she'd been there: I'm fine Aino. Why are you up so early?
     I heard you limp around. 
     It was slightly unnerving that she'd heard it. Didn't she sleep properly at night: I don't limp. He didn't limp. It was more like he dragged one leg a bit, because his knee was stiff. That's not the same as a limp.
     Okay. She clearly disagreed, but didn't say anything else. But she was one of those sims that was scaringly easy to read. Well, sometimes at least. She was usually either that, or completely closed off. There was nothing in between. Ofcourse, that could be because she didn't want to worry him.
     Ian studied her until she started shuffling around, uneasy under his gaze: Aino, if I ask you something... can you answer truthfully?
     Sure. How many teenagers haven't fallen into that trap?

     Plopping down on the stool next to him, Ian worried for a second that she would slide straight off.
     What is it? 
     How did mum treat you? He'd wanted to pack it in, but worried that it would just confuse her: I dunno. Okay I guess. 
     That didn't sound very reliable: And how is "okay"? A part of him wanted to tell she didn't have to say anything if it was uncomfortable. But that would've been to easy. She needed to tell someone, and he thought he wanted to know. He could remember his daughter reluctantly telling the officer about the man she'd helped Skuld hide in the bog. That's how they'd found more victims. Skulds defence about the dead hadn't come up until after the police had been able to connect her directly to the murders. And they were pretty sure that there was more.
     Uhm.. she wasn't so bad. I had to take care of you. Roll you over, feed you and stuff. But I didn't mind that! That was just nice, even if you're a bit heavy. I liked taking care of you.

     She slapped me a few times, but it wasn't so bad. And she pulled my hair a bit. Aino sounded so casual about it, like it was no big dead. Ian wanted to say something, but frankly he had no idea what it should've been: she made me eat spoiled food, and... uhm... It wasn't so bad. It tasted aweful, and made me throw up. Which was good, because it kept me from getting fat. 
     What? She'd been lucky she hadn't gotten really ill, or had a complete aversion towards food. Actually she was pretty fond of cooking.
     You know; fat- mum told me I was fat. And that it's important not to be. She still didn't get why, because it was pretty easy finding clothes for larger sims around these parts. Maybe it hadn't been when mum was a kid.
 

      You're not fat, Aino. Why did he even say that, it shouldn't matter.
     Yeah I know. That's because I threw up a lot when I was a kid.
     That really wasn't a healthy way of thinking: No, you're slim because you eat normal food, and move a lot. And because you're not genetically disposed to be. She'd probably bulk up quickly as hell though, but no point telling her that: You were a normal toddler, and a pretty slim child. And you still are. He took a little break before continuing: So, do you still throw up?     
     No, it's bad for your teeth. And there's really cute clothes at the Market, so it wouldn't be bad if I gained weight. She wished they had clothes in smaller sizes. But they started in extra large.

     Mum said it was fault that she had to kill that guy though. Because she'd made him try to touch her, so then mum had protected her and killed him.
     What guy? The one she made you help her hide? Everyone involved had told her it was nothing she could've done to prevent Skuld from murdering him. Or anyone else for that matter. But he wasn't sure his daughter got it.
      Yeah. It kind of was my fault. Mum had killed him because she really loved her. It had to be the reason. But Aino still wasn't sure what she thought about mum.   
     Aino, you were just a kid. There's nothing you could've done to make that happen. 
     Okay... she didn't believe him, he could hear it in her voice. He really wanted to know what she believed she'd done. But he had been informed not to pressure her into talking about it. Even if he'd already made the mistake: Do you miss mum? Aino looked at him when she'd asked.

     Ofcourse he missed her, even if he wasn't supposed to: I don't really think about it.
      You still look gross... 
      Sighing, Ian had already gotten that. He looked gross, sticky and unkempt and could be used to traumatize other sims: Yeah, I know. I've got an appointment with a hairdresser today, so don't worry.
     You should get racecar undies, Aino said: It would make you a lot happier.
     I am happy. He was getting new clothes to, the old ones were going to find the nearest dumpster.
     You never smile, so you're not happy. 
     Damned kid: You know what, why don't you get ready for school, and I'll make some breakfast.

     She jumped up from the stool, just to interrup him before he could start: can I have a cat? I really want one. And I'm gonna be the crazy catlady when I grow up. A complete moodchange from a pretty fresh teenager.
     Sighing, Ian prepared himself for letting his daughter down. Letting down a girl who'd he'd barely spent any time with: Sure Aino, you can have a cat. He couldn't stand the thought of her disappointed face, even if he knew it was a terrible idea. They didn't have the room for a cat.
     Thank you dad! She smiled happily: And I changed my mind. You should get catundies instead of racecar ones.

     That way they ended up with Sekhmet.

     Ian decided to let the cat be alone for a while, whist he went to the beatysalon for a haircut. But the stylist had something to say: Are you sure you're here for the appointment? You don't look like you belong here! Completely ignoring the grown man with pigtails in the background ofcourse: Yuk. For the love of... he didn't look that bad?
    You look sticky! Then he shuddered again: I'm going to have to ask for payment up front. I doubt you can afford this place.

      For such a judgmental guy, he knew what he was doing. Even if Ian wanted to take the entire beard, the stylist disagreed. Or as he'd said: The beard is so thick, that you'll most likely be really pale under it. So best to leave stubbles for a while. That way, your skin will get some air and hopefully get some tanning on that part of your face. Maybe he should tell the guy he was a redhead, incase he hadn't noticed. Getting a tan wasn't a realistic option.

     Ian proseeded to do what all old men did when starting to panic about their age. Going to the gym, trying to get the most out of a workout. Atleast his knee didn't hurt, it was just a bit stiff. That's why he had that little limp. Ofcourse he refused to call it that, but his daughter insisted. He just dragged a bit at his leg, it was no big deal.

     Unfortunately he got a little reminder of the difference between him and others. Ofcourse, it might be because he'd just pushed himself to hard.

     Aino had decided taking a trip to the library, to do her homework. She wanted to go home. But with a new cat in the house, she assumed she'd never get it done. And her grades weren't the best, so it seemed like a good idea. Unfortunately she hadn't thought about the fact that other sims also would be there.
     So now she sat at the desk, with that knot in the stomach she got when she wanted to leave. But it wasn't an option, because it would seem suspect to the other sim. And then she had to pretend that she didn't really care that they were there, when she did.

     Trine didn't seem to thrilled about her beeing present either. But then why couldn't she leave, so she'd be awkward instead. Aino didn't have any problems with Trine, other then her beeing Steins girlfriend and she'd kind of slept with him.
     If she'd known that she was his girlfriend, she wouldn't have done it. With angry eyes, she kept looking over at her; bumping into the table everytime Aino wrote something down. Why couldn't they use computers like they did in the rest of simnation?

     Turning the pencil up-side-down, Aino erased a long line from her book that came when Trine bumped into the table. The other girl was muttering under her breath, not wanting anyone to hear what she said. Aino was pretty glad about that, but it still wasn't fun: So when are you following in your mothers footsteps? Trine said without looking at her: She killed my sister and dad, so why not the rest of us to, huh? Wouldn't that be nice? Then you could get rid of the rest of us.
     She bumped into the table again, causing another of Ainos letters looking all funky. She wasn't planning on answering. She'd lost her sister and dad, so it would've been really cruel. After all, she deserved it. She could've told someone about what happened at their house. Then someone might have known- and all those sims wouldn't have died. Trine was pretty alright though, she only mentioned anything the few times they couldn't avoid eachother.

     Kicking the table violently, Aino wondered if the sheets would handle all the erasing she did. Trine kept on talking, a bit louder this time, even if she'd hoped she'd stay more quiet: I can't believe you knew where they were, and you didn't tell anyone. Her voice was thick now, trying to stop herself from crying. Trines sister had been older then her, and Aino was just a toddler when they dissappeared: I can't believe you're not in jail. You deserve it. Why didn't you do anything?

     You're just as evil as she is. I hope you marry someone that abuse, tortures and kills you. Like your mum did to all those sims. You'd deserve it. Aino didn't get why she'd had to marry someone to do that, it didn't make a lot of sense: I don't get it...
     Ofcourse you don't. It's because you're evil. I hope someone kills you, like your mum killed sims. I hope they cut you open, and rips your intestins out while you're still alive. You're disgusting and worthless. You don't deserve anything good happening to you.
     Aino felt sorry for Trine, it had to be hard. And she deserved her anger and scorn. Since mum wasn't here, they had to say these things to her. It was better than anyone saying something to dad. Poor dad and his limping.

     She could've told someone sooner, so she got why sims were mad at her. That's why it was so nice to come home and see that dad no longer looked like a yeti: See! She ignored the lump in her stomach: Doesn't it feel a lot better now?
     Nodding he answered: It does. My chin's a bit cold though.
     You should take the rest of it to.     
     Ian shook his head: I'd feel to naked. Maybe another time.
     Dad... he looked at her again: Did you go all midlifecrisis and work out at the gym to?
    I did. Guilty...

     Now that you look so good, you should start dating. Bet the old ladies won't be able to keep their wrinkled arthritis- fingers off you. Aino knew how to say the right things.  
     I'm married to your mother. I'm not going to date anyone. And he couldn't deny the fact that most women wouldn't want to date a man that was married; to an inmate. Especially that inmate.  
     You should divorce her. She's going to stay in prison for the rest of her life. Repeating what dad had told her. She wasn't all to sure about it. That, and she was a bit worried about what mum would do to her, if she ever got out. If it hadn't been for her, maybe no one would've found all those corpses. 
     I won't divorce her Aino. I promised. Dad was to kind for his own good. He probably needed to have sex. Atleast that's what Stein claimed.

     How come she'd never known about this place before! Aino picked the toy she wanted, reading the instructions that showed up on the machine. She could make her own teddybear! Wondered if she could find Ratatosk in a place like this? It had been really sad when the police couldn't find it with the evidence, and they said they hadn't taken it. But it wasn't at the house, and the police hadn't taken it; where was it? So unless Ratatosk had walked away on it's own....
    What if it had run off on it's own! Maybe, if she clicked this button, instead of getting a teddy bear, she'd get Ratatosk back instead!! That would be great.

     It wasn't Ratatosk that came out of the machine, it was a teddybear just like she'd tried to make. But it was even cuter than she'd thought it would be! She was going to call him.... Boris! Boris the bear, because that was a good name for a bear.

     She loved Boris already

     Ofcourse teddybears wasn't the only thing Aino liked. She liked boys to, especially shirtless ones with sweat streaming down their backs and chests. They weren't really good at basked, which was probably why they were so sweaty. Maybe she should start playing basket? She could be good at it. Dad said she could try whatever she felt like, so why not basket? Maybe she'd be better at it then dancing, but she liked swimming to. She'd thought she'd be a meresim like dad, but she wasn't. And dad had lost his meresimness somewhere along the line. Whatever mum had given him, must've taken it away.
    Wait? Wasn't that... That was Hans, he was pretty okay. But the guy in shorts were Kol... bloody hell... Mum had killed his dad. It was good that he wasn't a genie like his dad had been.

     She squeezed Boris tighter, and whispered: You're hairyer then they are. And you're really soft. Will you help me if something happens? She moved the teddybear head up and down, like it was nodding: Yes, yes I'll help you. Just look at me and it'll all go away... She wasn't crazy, she knew it was her that talked for the bear. She stroked it a few more times. Maybe she should go away, or maybe she should stay? Didn't she owe him that he'd yell at her. He hadn't yelled at her yet. Maybe she should seek up all the family of the ones mum had killed- But she didn't know what she should've done.

     There wasn't enough time for her to decide wether to leave or not, as Kol quickly noticed her. With flared nostrils, he was so angry he didn't notice poor Hans falling on his butt: Are you talking to a teddybear? What the fuck is wrong with you? You're as crazy as your mum. He didn't even raise his voice, but hissed it like a snake.
     She clutched Boris close, worried that it'd be taken from her: His name's Boris.    
     You name your teddybears? You're fucking insane. Why are you staring at us? Are you going to kill us like your mum killed my dad?
     No...

     Spitting on the ground infront of her feet, he asked: Then why the hell are you staring? Even Hans had stopped playing, standing a good deal in the background. She'd done that if she were him to. Kol was really mean. And a big bully: Spit it out freak! 
     She didn't like it when sims raised their voices, so she whispered: ... I was just looking...
     Looking? He was back to the hissing now: So you're a perv like your mum.
     No... I wasn't looking at you, I was looking at Hans. He's a lot cuter than you. It made Hans grin a bit, so Kol told him to fuck off. Hans was nice, he never said anything. He never did anything either though, mainly just followed others around.

     Kol managed to look even meaner than usual: You're a whore
     No, I don't work. Whores worked for their simoleons, and she didn't have sex for simoleons. So then she wasn't a whore.
    I didn't say it was your job, freak. I said you are one. I heard you fucked someone from out of town. Had Stein told him? Why would he do that? Not that it was a secret, but it was a bit strange.
    Yes, but I didn't get anything for it, so it's not prostitution. She'd never understand why so many sims were that dumb. If you didn't exchange sex for something, then it wasn't prostitution. Not that she planned on calling Kol dumb, she wasn't that crazy.

      Are you trying to be funny, you cunt?! Your mum murdered my dad! I came home to my home in flames, with my dads mutilated corpse burned to ashes! He yelled it, some of saliva hit her in the face: I'm sorry.... I didn't mean for it to happen. She'd been a toddler then to, but maybe she could have done something?
     Dude, relax... Even Hans said something, just to have Kol yelling at him to: Shut the fuck up, nerd! That made him back off again. Kol was a lot bigger than him, he was a lot bigger than most teenagers. The teddybear didn't smell very good, they smelled better when they had been loved a little. Teddybears had a lot of love to give. And they were soft.
     I'm sorry, she whispered: I wish there was something I could do....
    He pause before he said it: There's something you can do. You owe me!

     Dude, stop it! Even Hans thought that Kol wanted to much of her.  Shut up nerd!! My dads dead because of this whores mum!
      She couldn't even hear her own voice over their yelling: I don't want to.
     Aino inhaled deeply through her nose, that helped, and then breathed out her mouth. Boris was soft to squeeze. She loved Boris already. Wonder why the air wasn't chillier? It was autumn, but it could've been summer. It was a strange that one season could have all the others in them.

     Aino flinched when he lifted his arm, she didn't want to be hit. But he just pointed at her: You owe me. My dad is dead! It's your fault. Why the hell didn't you say anything!
    Kol, stop it! Hans was still trying to talk over him, but Kols voice was very high, and Hans' was really low. It was her fault, wasn't it? Maybe if she'd been a better daughter, mum wouldn't have done all the things she did. She'd made her mum so miserable... And now poor dad still loved mum, even if he should divorce her. Because mum had never been good to dad. But she'd been so good to her.  That's why she didn't want to meet mum, because she'd been so mean to dad. Aino liked when mum smiled at her.
     What's the big deal?! She fucks everyone anyway! She's a whore, just like her mum!
 

     She had a headache to, she didn't like all the yelling they did. Why were they yelling so much? She'd wished they could stop yelling at eachother: Okay.... she did owe him, didn't she? They kept yelling at eachother, she didn't even know Hans could get mad: it's okay. I can do it... she didn't want to.
     You hear that? Kol said with smug voice: she said it was okay! You can shut up now nerd!

     Wipe that paint off your face, I don't want lipstick on my dick. 
     Aino really loved her new teddybear: Okay. She hoped Boris would be happy, and that Sekmeth wouldn't scratch him
     Get down on your knees.
     She just did as he told her to, it was a lot easier that way.

     Poor Boris wasn't alive anymore. He'd been brutalized by Kol, and there wasn't a lot left of him. He didn't get to live for a long time, but he had been nice to have around. Maybe it was for the best for poor Boris; it smelled pretty bad in here. Like piss that hadn't been properly washed up, and old soap that had run down the wall making small, sticky pools on the floor. Aino was willing to bet that Boris jaw hurt to, and his throat. Kol hadn't been very nice to him. He still had nice eyes, big and dark, that caught the light from the flickering yellow light.

     Maybe his knees hurt to? Or maybe not, Boris didn't have knees anymore. Poor Boris.
     Are you okay? Hans was here to, for some reason, but he'd gotten his shirt back on. Maybe he had to use the bathroom and she and Boris was in the way?
     Yes. Do you have to use the bathroom?
     No... Are you sure you're okay? Wonder why he kept asking her, why wouldn't she be fine?
     Aino answered again, boys never listened to her: yes.
     You're crying....
     No. She wasn't crying. It was just her face that was a bit wet. That happened sometimes.

     His voice was really low; bet he was worried that Kol would hear him: ....Okay.... Uhm... Do you want me to call someone. Why would she need that for? She just shook her head at him, so he answered: Okay. Do you need a ride somewhere? 
     No. I just want to sit here for a while.
     Okay... are you sure you're fine? Wonder why he was still here. He was probably just to shy to admit that he needed to use the bathroom
     I'm fine. she was just fine, it was worse for poor Boris. She wouldn't be able to fix him.

     Ian stood staring at his daughter as she kept brushing her teeth. What was it, the third time in a row? Why wasn't she doing it in the bathroom? Maybe she wanted him to ask her what was up: Aino.. Aino your teeth are clean. Put the toothbrush down...

     She kept avoiding eyecontact: Are you okay Aino? Ian didn't like to admit it, but he was a bit worried about her. She seemed to be completely in her own world: I made a teddybear...
     Okay. His little babygirls voice was hoarse, maybe she was coming down with a cold. She was a bit thinly dressed for the chilling weather. He should tell her to put on some warmer clothes.
     I called him Boris...
     Yes? What was this about anyway? He knew she loved toys, but this was just strange
     But he fell apart, and now I don't have a teddybear anymore. He lost his head and arms and all... they just came straight off.
     I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one. A teddybear that had been ruined made her this strange?
     I don't really want a new one.
 

     
     Dad? Alteast she looked straight forward now, but there were still no eyecontact. What had happened to his smiling little girl?
     Yes? Then she stared at him for a very long time: You look a lot better now. Goodnight.
     Night...    
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Ian added some herbs to the meal, which is why he threw up. It just fitted in with someone who works out a bit harder than usual

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