1.17 Crouching sim Hidden ninja

     It was such a beautiful day, they all decided to go to the spring festival. Summer was close, and the air was all warm, the sun burning on the skin. The place smelled of sweet cake, and delicious beverages.
     Despite her clumsy nature, Iva took a pirouette on rollerblades, not even falling over.

      But she "discretely" pretended to do something else, when she saw her husband, the father of her children, entering the kissing booth. It was for a good cause after all.

  But did he really have to....

     .....go that far?!!!

     Atleast that bitch finally got the attention she was so desperately seeking!!!!

     You with those fucking fake tits!!! Stay the hell away from my husband!! Iva confronted the woman in her usual, charming manner.
     The very young woman, way younger than Iva, was probably used to that type of behaviour. She didn't even react.

     Iva figured it would be a good ide to make Gard jealous, and kissed the guy in the kissing booth. But she got so shy, that the lucky man just got a quick peck on the cheek by a blushing "lady".

     Not that it was any point, as her stupid husband found out the fair had football. And just was to busy even noticing her trying to make him jealouse. That bastard!

     Marco had toddled out of the hot sun, and found his beloved teddy; Nosferatu. Or "Noffatu" as he called it. For once he was acting like the perfect toddler, not even crying once.

     Oriana pretended she didn't know any of them, as her parents were just so embarassing. And her brother was baby-ronin. The evil wizard!
     She found some pretty flowers, and drew a deep breath trying to smell it.
     Dad had told her that ninjas used something they spit in their enemies eyes to blind them. Maybe they made it from flowers!!!
     Ninja- flower made her nose runny. Glasses and allergies?! How would she ever be a ninja now!!

     Like the dancing wasn't embarrasing enough, her parents got even more lovey- dovey on that stupid love- machine. They laughed and clapped when they hit the max.

     Eeeeew!!! Even the dog was laughing at them.

     When baby- ronin tried to kill his teddybear, Oriana headed home. No ninja could look at that!!

     She would rather do her ninja- homework, thank you very much!!

 

     As Oriana headed home, Gard figured out how to make it up to his wife. She hadn't really mentioned him kissing that girl, but he'd seen Iva yell at her. Lucky for him the festival had football, so he could pretend beeing busy with that instead. 

     Ofcourse he'd just kissed the young woman like that, to see if he still had it. Which he definitely did. Not that he'd tell his wife that, as he didn't have a death- wish.

     When we get home, I'll do those things you like... He knew excactely what she wanted.

      

     So he put his son to sleep....

     .....and emptied the potty.....

      Which was "those things" she liked. They had been married for many years now after all.
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     Once again, the evil wizard trapped in her brothers babybody screamed and yelled. Oriana couldn't wait for him to grow up. Maybe baby- ronin would go away then!!
     Don't worry honey, he'll age up pretty soon. She barely heard her mothers voice through all the screaming. Because baby- ronin screamed louder than a wounded ninja- dinosaur.

     When baby- ronin finally stopped screaming, she tried talking a bit with her dad.
     Daddy? Oriana put on her best puppy- eyes. Can you sweep the chimney, so I can climb through it? All ninjas have to learn to climb chimneys, it's a part of their training!!
     Sweety, we don't even have a chimney, Gard responded. Why didn't she ever go to her mother with all those odd requests? He continued:  And even if we did, no one can climb through it. It's not possible because.....

     Once again baby- ronins howling got her dads attention. Maybe the evil wizard wasn't so bad after all- He just saved her one of dads boring, long explanations. 'Cause her dad was like waaay boring.

     Baby- ronin went silent again as he found something exciting in his nose.
     And Oriana sat down with a book about ninjas. She so needed ninja- socks, that way she could climb ropes better. With socks like that she could also pretendt to be a turtle, a ninja- turtle! Which was a concept no- one but Oriana had like ever thought of!!
     Her parents was beeing all grosse as usual. They kissed ALL the time! Then they would shower together. Mum said it was because they tried to save the enviroment, but dad acted a bit strange when she asked him.
     Oriana still thought it was grosse. Sometimes she heard her mother make strange sounds in the shower. So just incase her dad was hurting mum, Oriana had concocted a plan. So they would stop showering together.

     She had trapped the shower, like a real ninja would. Because everyone knew ninjas are like really nice and all!! That way, her dad would stop hurting mum when they were saving the enviroment! He probably bit her, 'cause he did that sometimes.

     ORIANA!!!!! Talk about mood killer! Where did that girl learn that type of behaviour, Iva wondered.

     Nunchuk, her trusty ninja- cat sat on her lap. Mum was angry now, but she wouldn't yell when Nunchuk was with her. She would get all gooey- eyed because they were so cute together!!
     Oriana laughed as she scratched her ninja- cat: And stupid Sunniva say I can't be a ninja!!
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     That wasn't the only ninja- plan Oriana and Nunchuck made.
     There was always so many women that wanted to talk to her dad. Women he didn't even know, just would walk up to him and start talking, and act all funny. Sometimes strange ladies even came to their house.
     Mum always got mad when the nice ladies wanted to be friends with daddy. Then she would yell at him.
     When Oriana asked mum why ladies ALWAYS wanted to talk to her dad, mum said it was because he was a "beefcake".
     If her dad was a cake, didn't that mean she was half cake/ half human? She would be the only half- cake ninja in the world then! Oriana liked cake.

     Oriana tried her and Nunchuks plan when a blonde lady came to the house. She saw her mum give the lady "the look". That meant that mum and dad would fight, when the lady left the house.

     When the blond lady started giggling at all the boring things dad said, Oriana knew it was a woman that liked her dad. Since she thought he was a cake. Oriana really liked cake. And dad was sooooo boring.

      She went to her room, where she'd left her homework on the desk. Then she sent Nunchuk, the ninja-cat, out of her room to help with the plan. Oriana sat at her desk, and pretended to do her homework.

 

     Oriana knew what would happen as soon as she heard baby- ronin howl again. Dad would go to him, and mum would yell at the lady. Maybe mum didn't like to share cake? Which was like really unfair, because mum ALWAYS made Oriana share.

     Then the lady would start screaming back. This one said: You can't talk to me like that!!! Poor woman!! She couldn't say that to mum! Mum said anything she wanted to whoever she felt like!! Which was sooo embarassing!!

 

   

     The ninja hiding in her room, heard someone getting slapped. It was definitely the lady!

     Then mum would punch the woman. Mum said she was a "bimbo- beater". A bimbo was a woman with big boobs. 

     One time, when Oriana had been hiding like a ninja, mum had been angry at dad and said he didn't like her small boobs. Then dad had gotten that strange voice, laughed a bit, and said that he didn't mind. Because he could fit her entire boob in his mouth. 

     Oriana had revealed her ninja- self and asked why dad would wanna do that!!? Dad had got all red- faced, which she had no idea he could!  

     Mum was a really good "bimbo- beater". 

     When the bimbo was beaten, Nunchuk the ninja- cat lept into action

     Mum said all bimbos were self- sentered, and obsessed with their looks. So Oriana and Nunchuk knew the lady would be afraid of Nunchuks claws destrying her pretty face.

 

     And just like the ninja had planned, the bimbo ran into her room. Oriana pretended she got scared, and cried for her dad: Daddy, daddy! There's a strange lady in my room!! She wasn't really scared though, as ninjas were really brave.

 

     Then dad showed up, and said: What's wrong with you? Get out of my daughters room!!! Dad didn't like it when strangers came to close to her.

      Ninja- plan works perfectly! She was so telling all the other ninjas at school. She just had to find them first. If they were hiding to well, she'd just tell her best friends Vera and Milo instead!! They weren't ninjas.        Oriana really liked ninjas!! And cake. She wanted cake for supper.

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Iva's gotten quite nice in her older days. She doesn't randomly attack or yell at people any more. So I have to force her to do it. And that kissing booth thing!! Damn, great kisser ftw. Save some for your wife, you old dog! 

Gard gets love- letters and phone- calls pretty much at a daily basis. Random female sims also tend to pop up at the door several times a week. I figured they come for him, and not for Iva. 

I felt a bit sorry for Gard when I played the random save, in the "florian- chapters". He kept rolling wishes to kiss and flirt with Iva. And the first time they met in the original save, she rolled a want to kiss him too! They have some traits incommon, so they go together quite nicely. 

Iva could have gotten pretty kids with Lukas, but now she gets to have ...interesting... kids with Gard instead. They make a terrible DNA- match. Ah well, what Iva wants, Iva gets. 

Thanks for reading :)